


I Found Love in a DMV Place

by InsominiacArrest



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Banter, Drabbles, Fluff, M/M, Working AU, shameless flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4536753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat works at the DMV, Dave works on his nerves and they somehow are drawn together. </p><p>Davekat human AU drabbles (in three parts).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Photos and Flirting

September

Karkat has anger management issues. And it was most likely because he works at the Department of Motor Vehicles, the DMV, the hell pit of bureaucracy.

“M'am I’m sorry but we can’t issue you a license at this time.”

“What do you mean you can’t issue me a license at this time?” She spit, grey hair sticking round her head out like medusa’s halo. She was a middle aged nightmare.

“You couldn’t read the letters on the device. You’ll have to come back in with glasses.”

“I can see _fine_. Let me try again.”

He sighs deeply, squaring his shoulders off, “Alright, fine. Put your eyes up to the prompter.”

“M, T, W,”

“No.”

“N, T, V,”

“No.”

“N, Y, J,”

“NO.” He practically shouts through gritted teeth. He takes a deep breath in through the nose. “There is a optometrist in this strip mall around the corner. As well as a lasix office two blocks from there. And a morgue-”

“Karkat!” His manager scowls at him with a pout on her lip.

He waves back weakly, “but until then-”

“I have places to be young man! _I waited two hours in here_.”

“I’m sorry m’am there isn’t-”

“Don’t give me that.”

“There isn’t anything,”

“I want to talk to a manger!”

He gestures for Feferi to come over. She plasters her cheery I’m-about-to-placate-the-fuck-out-of-you grin on her face.

“Why don’t you just come right over here young lady?” She takes her to the side, “How can I help you?”

Karkat blocks out their voices and pushes the open button, the robotic voice on the prompter announces, “625 will now be served. 625 will now be served.”  
  


“Yo, whatup.” 625 greets him.

Karkat’s entire body goes stiff. He recognizes that voice.

He clears his throat, “how may I help you sir?” He says in the most flat tone he can muster.

“I would like to talk to you about my license ID photo….it’s jacked as fuck.”

“That’s interesting sir.” ‘Sir’ was his version of ‘fuckace.’

“As in jacked up, look at this shit.” He shoves in his face an ID of a whiny blonde kid who looked half way through the middle of a sneeze.

“How may I help you then?” Karkat is the master of customer service.

“I want a refund.”

“We don’t do that. But there are some forms you can find online to-”

“No, from you like you.”

“What?”

“You heard me, you totally took my picture and did this on purpose.” He waves it in his face.

“I’m sorry but I don’t understand.”

“Empty your pockets.”

Oh, fucking God is all Karkat can think to himself as he looks to the heavens for some relief, perhaps some smiting at this time could be in order.

“If any mishaps may have happened for your picture I assure you they can be handled online at our registration page where you can fill out the forms for a new license.”

“Nah.”

“What?”

“I like it. It’s completely fucking rad. BUT, you did it on purpose dude. SO on purpose like waited for my head to jerk or like literally shook the camera.” It was something like that.

“Well, it was the end of the day,” he grumbles, “and any mistakes could have occurred if certain individuals spent their entire two hours here promoting his ‘underground shows’ and giving impromptu performances and then getting up here and telling an employee his hair looked like a flamingo humping a terrier. That MIGHT have resulted in some technical difficulties.”

“Is this cause I flirted with you? It’s cause I flirted with you isn’t it dude.”

Karkat goes red in the face, “is there absolutely anything else I can do for you sir?” He grinds his teeth, “Other customers are in line.”

“Oh, there are lot’s of things you can do for me.” The guy winks at him, Dave, Karkat’s mouth falls open, “but seriously can you at least sign my license? With like a crab or some shit. It’s honestly a work of art.”

“NEXT.” Karkat yells.

“Alright, alright,” Dave backs away from the counter, “see ya round Karkat.” He gives him a shit eating grin and departs.

Karkat wonders when the exact date of his death will be, soon?? When could God schedule it in, because he was ready.

\-------------

Karkat met Dave Strider two weeks earlier.

“Guess who needs an Ohio license?” Dave announces as he approaches Karkat’s kiosk.

Karkat sniffs, he had been nursing a cold for days now and just now had to suffer through this assholes rapping for the crowd now for the last hour.

“Is it you?” He responds dispassionately.

“Someones got a sixth sense, Bruce Willis is on hold, he’s ready to initiate you into the sqad at any fucing time, like who you gonna call?” He peers at Karkat’s name tag, “Karkat.” Karkat had to wonder if this guy was on cocaine or something.

“Do you have previous license?” He whips out a rectangle card, Karkat grabs it and starts verifying the information.

“Texas?”

“Austin. And yes, I do make Indie flicks and have the heat tolerance of a champion.”

“I didn’t ask.” Feferi was on break, making his lips were a little more loose.

“Wow, okay, you’re an ass. Also, is your hair okay? It looks like a flamingo humping a terrier.”

“Dave E. Strider?”

“Is it obvious?” He says sarcastically.

“155 pounds? 6’1?”

“Yeah. 130 pounds? 5’5? Single.” Karkat goes red in the face.

“Not even close.”

“Single?” He repeats.

“BLONDE HAIR...Uh, red eyes?” 

“Mmm, yes sir.” He seems a little more bashful at that. Karkat grins. “And a 7 in the important places if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t need an IQ on the license.”

The boy laughs, “okay, walked into that one.” He laughs again.

Karkat tries not to stare at the boys lips stretching across his face.

“Okay, please look into the eye examiner and read me the first five letters.”

He leans in,

“glasses off please.”

The guy hesitates, fingers ghosting over the frames. Karkat pops up an eyebrow at him curiously.

Dave whips off his glasses and smashes his face into the mechanism. In the brief glimpse at his eyes Karkat confirms, yes, he has red eyes. It was a small, small world. A really fucking weird one.

He reads out the letters on the front row in order.

“Thank you, we can take your license picture shortly.” He repeats the same words he had to everyone who came in here.

“Hot.”

Karkat imagines the amount of words he wants to erupt out of his mouth like vomit. He bites his tongue.

“Follow me.” He leads him to the photo space, grey backdrop and camera at the ready.

“I have no bad side so shoot at will.”

“Stand and look at the blue light...Take your glasses off again sir.”

“Are you from around here? You’re eyes look familiar,” his eyebrows bounce up and down.

“Not from the plains of fucking patience city that’s for damn sure.”

“Wow, I’m a paying customer here, I’m not sure the government is allowed to talk to me like that.”

His breath rattles in his chest, “we can get through this. Please, no really, me, begging like a humble human being in the throws of tranquility and understanding, a simple man with simple wishes, remove glasses. And we can be done here.”

“So, you’re not from here.”

“Let’s just say I’m from the government and we’re here to not probe you, spy on you or misuse your tax dollars. But to take a fucking picture.”

“That sounds like absolutely no fun.”

“Sir. I will draw a license picture for you personally, with crayons. And I’m a shitty artist.”

Dave lifts his hands and begrudgingly removes his head wear. He stares at the camera blankly, devoid of emotion.

Karkat snaps the photo. He snaps a second one, the boy sniffs and then violently sneezes, Karkat snaps a third picture.

“Come here often?” He cheekily says when he's finished sniffling.

Karkat uses the sneezing one.

\--------------

Karkat saw him again a week after the ‘autograph’ incident. He ran into him on his way to work, almost directly into him in the small strip mall. He was wearing some black dress pants and a white shirt.

Karkat was in his usual grey polo and a pair of slacks.

“Whoa there speed racer.” He seems a lot more distracted this time as he fiddles with something around his neck.

“Oh. It’s you.” Karkat says dourly as he tries to sidestep the tall boy.

“You!” Dave seems to recognize him too, he breaks into a smile, “take any photos to outshine my beautiful mug yet?”

“No. No pieces of literal shit have walked through the door recently. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Ooh, ouch. You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“No. I kiss yours.” Karkat is not above the occasional ‘burn’ at the mother related nature that would appeal to these kinds of losers.

Dave’s face freezes, he abruptly turns to Karkat in the most ecstatic look he’d seen since the last time he interacted with Feferi.

“Oh my god, hahaha,” he breaks into a manic laughter, covering his mouth and then laughing some more. “That was sick, oh my God, hang out with me, now, immediately. I want to show you off to my friends, and then like the parents-I-don’t-have as this person I know.”

“We’re not friends.”

“Oh my God, fuck no, and that makes it better. Like an exhibit of acquaintance ‘oh snap’ bro-”

“I have to get to work.” He leaves him mid-silioque. He tries not to smile at least a little bit at making someone laugh so much.

His mood is immediately doused with lighter fluid when he see’s a queue already ten people deep at the DMV.

He can already hear the echo in his head, ‘how can I help you~,’ ‘I can get the next person over here~,’ ‘no, I’m sorry try the downtown department~,’ ‘go fuck yourself.’ The last one was just his constant internal commentary.  

He ignores his coworker Eridan as he tries to whimper to him about some new love interest. He’d handle it in a second.   
He gets behind his podium and takes a deep breath, looking down at his hands and then back out into the wide world of chairs and bored patrons trying to get back to their lives-and him being the only thing in their way.

“Now serving number 12 at station 5." The robotic voice announces. 

"I can help someone over here." And his day has begun.

Karkat is halfway through helping a woman with way too many children, and way too much time on her hands to stand there and argue with Karkat all day when he spots him. The guy. He can just make him out in the corner of the window in the shops across from the DMV.

It was at the sketchy if not familiar sushi place with questionable credibility.

Dave waves at him through the window.

Welp, another place Karkat can never go back to lunch again.

He turns back to the women,

“Look m’am, I’m sorry your license has been suspended, but you can’t run three red lights while flipping off a cop and get off probation under two years, it should be all outlined in the paperwork they sent you.” He explains in a bored tone.

“I am not going to read the papers from the feds! They sound untrustworthy on the first line. Just tell me the way to undo this today.”

“Well m’am, please listen very carefully to these instructions: You. Can’t.”

Her face goes livid. Karkat zones her out as she splutters about 'indecency.'

Dave is making weird faces at him through the window, screwing up his face and then sneezing. Karkat rolls his eyes at him, Dave does a lewd gesture with his hands Karkat shows him the good side of his middle finger. He doesn’t get to see it though when customers actually walk into the small establishment.

“I want to speak to your manager!”

Karkat is snapped back to attention at those words.

“Hey, Fef,” He calls to the back room. She turns with a stern look on her face directed at him.

He had a funny feeling one day they’d make him manager just for karma’s sake.

The lady strolls over to the cheery manager girl. "What seems to be the problem?" She chirps.

“Serving number 240.”

Karkat curls his toes in his shoes and gestures for the next person to come up.

Dave gives a final smile to him through the glass.

\--------------

October

‘M34T M3 4T TH3 SUSH1 PL4C3.’ Terezi Pyrope texts him three days after running into Dave.

‘NO.’ He replies bluntly when Feferi isn’t looking.

‘1’LL P4Y. I H4V3 GOOD N3WS!!’

‘TELL ME IT’S WHERE YOU LEARN TO TYPE PROPERLY.’

‘>:P.’

He waits ten minutes, ‘COM3 ON GRUMPY, DON’T T3LL M3 YOU DON’T LOV3 FR33 ;).’

He did love free. His job paid shit as a new clerk.

‘WE’RE GETTING A TABLE IN THE BACK. AND A NEW SERVER...IF, IF I FUCKING ASK.’

‘OK4Y, WH4T3V3R.’

Karkat meets Terezi on his lunch break, luckily it was an hour long and he had time for this jackassery.

“Okay, don’t tell me, you finally quit your job at ‘Sweat and Flex’?”

“Karkat, jazzercise is an incredibly important operation with high priority. I would never.” She announces with mock outrage.

“So? What is it?”

“Let’s sit down first.” She’s smiling like an alligator.

They enter the small shop and get a seat in the back as promised.

But Karkat knew it would happen. Knew it would goddamn happen.

“I am Dave Strider and I will be your server today. Prepare to get served as in if you beat me in a rap battle, and it’s all free. But I’ve never lost, hence the proverbial ‘serving.” Karkat refuses to look at him.  
Terezi laughs like a jackal, “what’s up cool kid?”

“You know, same old, same old.”

Karkat’s eyebrows sky rocket, he looks between them in confusion, “you two know each other?”

“Jazzercise is hard work Karkat. Hard, and hungry , and sushi is expensive yet fill of fish oils. Do you know about fish oils?”

“Please don’t tell me about fish oils.”

She snickers.

“Anyway, check whatever sushi you want off the list or whatever, and I’ll come pick it up, you crazy kids.”

“We want a dragon roll and a California roll platter.” Karkat responds. He knew the routine.

“Someone knows what he wants.”

“And egg drop soup!”

“Whatever I can get for the lady.”

Karkat eyed them suspiciously, he didn’t like the way they interacted. Dave left with their order.

“I also know him cause he visits John at Sweat and Flex.”

“God I hate hearing their name. 'Sweat and Flex,' ugh, It’s like putting dust and trash in my mouth and spitting it back up only to reingest it again latter.”

She laughs, “you and John should never meet. One, cause he’s a weenie who I need to fight. And two because he thinks it’s clever.”

“You’ve got a hang up on this guy? You’ve been mentioning him a lot.”

“Ugh, he just rubs me the wrong ways. Such a weenie. Kind of like you.”

“Thanks.” He says flatly.

“Any time. Plus, he does _not_ get jazzercise. He doesn’t feel the soul of 80’s pop, he sweats, but he doesn’t really _sweat_.”

“How do you even know that?”

“My sense of smell is godlike, if not it's own deity. And I can hear him, hear him not jiving to ABA like a decent human-person.”

“Are you dating him? Is that the big news?” He teases her, because honestly.

She cackles briefly and clucks at him, “No! So much better.”

“Uh-huh?”

“THE SCHOOL ASSIGNED ME MY FIRST CASE!” She announces ecstatically.

He smiles widely towards her, “congratulations.”

“I know! It’s not prosecution, but I’m working my way up, first of many.”

“I’m really happy for you.” And he was. She was actually going places.

They discuss her amnesty case for a Nigerian immigrant.

“It should be open and shut,” she asserts confidently when Dave comes up with their food. "He has a good legal standing, reason to come and I've got the downlow on all related case files. Open and shit."

“Raw and fresh, straight out of the ocean. A long time ago.”

“Very appetizing.” He responds dryly.

“We're in the middle of Ohio. And I'm here to keep it real. As well as give adequate respect to the customer.” He coughs at Karkat pointedly. 

"I've been repenting my sins, for Father I've brought this on myself, hoping on hope it will be enough to unmeet you." Karkat grumbles back.

“Don’t take him personally. He’s like that to everyone.” 

"I figured."

Dave grins at him. Karkat reluctantly decides to be more friendly to the blond. Out of spite.

“Thank you very much for the food. And I can help with the license thing anytime if you want.”

“No way, like I said, best thing that happened to me so far.”

“Okay.” He says slowly.

“Enjoy the meal.”

He leaves them again to get to the only other patrons in the business.

Karkat and Terezi get back to the food and conversation at hand. She goes over how she excited is, and then complains about John some more. Karkat contributes his own job complaints.

“...And Fef is literally the only one that wants to be there, everyone else is miserable and wants to eat their own fists by the end of the day. And she's only there because she wants to work for the government and you just know she’ll be promoted...And I’ll work there forever.”

“Go back to school numnuts!”

“Yeah. Maybe.” He replies miserably. He done two years as an ‘undecided,’ and then sort of...stopped.

“School is for losers.” Dave is back with the check.

Karkat eyes him from under his lashes hesitantly, grateful for the input. Dave’s eyebrows raise at Karkat’s small smile.

“Anyway, I’m not saying it should be a 100% tip, but I’m just saying I am willing to do any Nyotaimori from young nubile body if you two are ready.”

“What?”

“You know that thing where you eat sushi off a straight up disrobed person, it's like super expensive naked bonanza of weird ass-”

“Okay, okay, we get it.”

Dave is called over by the chef, leaving Terezi and Karkat to haggle over the bill.

“Look, you just got a really big success event. Let me pay.”

“I’d said I’d do it earlier!”

“It’s the least I can do for you.”

“Okay, breath holding contest. Starting now.” Karkat quickly breathes in deeply and then holds it for as long as he can.

Terezi wins.

“Ha!”

“At least let me cover the tip for you.”

“Alright, weak one.”

“I have more important things to do than practice lung capacity.” He starts to do the math in his head.

“You’d think you’d have a lot with all the yelling!” He huffs indignantly, he tips 25%.

Dave comes back just as Terezi finishes writing something at the bottom of the bill alongside the cash.

Dave goes stony faced, “thanks for coming in,” he says in a high pitched lilt. Karkat tilts his head quizzically, squinting his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything and follows Terezi out of ‘Joe’s Sushi.’

“What did you write?” He asks.

“Just your number at the bottom with a picture of your face.”

“You fucking didn’t! How, how,” He fumbles for furious enough words, “why?”

“Haha, I couldn’t help it, the tension was too much, a girl can only handle so much, you two need to get a room."

Karkat presses the meat of his palm to his face, he needed new friends.


	2. Cabs and Hats

Karkat was almost offended when Dave didn’t text him. He spent several weeks wondering why he wasn’t spammed with obnoxious rap videos and memes by the Strider, it's not like he didn't see him at work.

It wasn’t until 1 am on a thursday when he does he get it, the text.

‘hey it’s dave’

Karkat’s face screws itself up in surprised rage. He had just been considering going to go to sleep, and now this interruption. What an ass, the first text, and it’s the middle of the night.

‘can you come get your friend?’

Oh. it was business. Karkat cools down, that means only one thing then. Terezi.

He bundles himself up in several layers of clothes in the misguided hope to ward off the Ohio chill.

He fits his cap on tighter and then nods at his roommate Sollux as he leaves, a gesture of mutual respect for being up this late.

‘WHERE ARE YOU?’ He types on his phone.

‘whoa, calm down, no need to fucking caps locks me. we’re just at the 28th st, o'finnigans pub.’

‘NO, THIS IS JUST HOW I TYPE.’

‘you guys are wild. terezi and now you. not sure what to think of this’

‘WHAT’S GOING ON WITH HER?’

‘she came out with me and john and now she’s totally wasted’

Karkat nods, she was very small, and didn’t drink often, he could see her challenging someone to a round of shots as matter of honor. And winning.

Karkat realizes that he’ll need a cab, especially to get to Terezi’s place at this hour, in this weather.

He waits around on a corner closer to the heart of the city, shivering and cursing his shitty luck, willingness to do this sort of buffoonery and the ultimate irony of life that he worked at the DMV and did not own his own car.

He manages to hail a purple cab and climb in, he shakes the snow off his hat and from the folds of his dark coat.

“28th street please, the O'Finnegan Pub.”

The cabbie seemed to know what he was talking about and starts up the engine to get through the sheet of white flurry before them.

Karkat gets there in good time and tells the driver to wait while he picks up his intoxicated loser friends.

The cold wind filled with snow drops blows into his face, he squints into it before spotting a blond kid on the curb with a red haired girl leaning against his shoulder.

“Hey, hey, over here!” He called. Dave’s eyebrows raise and he hobbles over to Karkat while supporting a wilting Terezi.

“Why aren’t you wearing a hat?” Karkat asks as Dave clambers into the car, shaking the snow from his hair.

“They’re itchy.” He laments. “And that’s how you greet me?”

“It’s fucking freezing my nads off out there and your ears are like yellow caution tape to my eyes, sticking out like yield traffic triangles, like at least pin them to the side of your head or something.”

“Get your dumboism outa my face, bro I need these things to fucking fly. Can’t be pinned down by my haters, or a hat.”

“Shoulda flown Terezi home then.” He fusses.

“I’M THE FUCKING VODKA CHAMPION.” Terezi seems to stir from her daze to yell illegibly out the window as they close the door.

“Yes you are.” Dave pats the top of her head paternally.

“Drinking contest?”

“She couldn’t turn the bozos or the booze down.”

“Fucking knew it.” He breaths under his breath.

"Justice was served!" She exclaims.

"Yeah, and with a bottle of Jack Daniels on the side."

“Where we headed to kids?” The cabbie pipes up from the front.

“Wyvern and Redwood Court intersection.” Karkat clarifies.

“Whoa, eastsider.” Dave comments as they head in that direction.

“Her parents help her pay.”

“Oh man, Terezi on a scale of one to alone-forever how single are you? Because Dave is a honey-momma loving shameless bastard. Young, available, hairless.”

“What are you, a shaving cream commercial?”

“I’m a commercial for myself. 19.99 everyday, Strider express, call now for shipping in your local area if you like what you see.” He seems to look directly at Karkat as he emphasizes the last part. Terezi interrupts the banter with a violent jerk, seeming to come back to the conversation.

“Not,” she hiccups, “single,” She slurs and leans on Karkat aggressively.

“You’re not?”

“How?”

“Married,” She begins before sagging down like gravity was taking vengeance, “TO THE LAW.”

Dave and Karkat can’t help but laugh openly at her. She snickers along with them and Karkat somehow feels lighter inside.

His constant worry about his future prospects blurring in the winds of the frozen city.

Terezi finally gives into gravity and gently rests her head on Karkats shoulder, seeming to start snoring lightly.

“So you had my number this whole time?” Karkat questions casually, completely benignly.

“Yeah? Why?”

“I thought she wrote the wrong one down.”

“What, why would you...” suddenly Dave face falls, “wait.” A dawning realization overcomes his face like a slow but subtle sunrise. “You thought.”

“Nothing like that! I mean,” he suddenly had no defense for himself. He darts his eyes around, how hard was it to tuck and roll out of a vehicle?

“You wanted me to call you,” Dave announces, he abruptly rolls down the cab window and shouts out the window, “HE WANTED ME TO CALL HIM EVERYONE. STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, FUCKING DROP WHATEVER THE FUCK, LET IT CRASH RIGHT NOW AND LISTEN TO THE GOSPEL OF DAVE STRIDER, He wanted me to call.”

“Oh my God you blithering idiot with damage to the frontal lobe while losing brain cells from wanking your own IQ points down to zero. You’re letting the cold air in.”

Even Terezi grumbles uncomfortably. Karkat reaches over her and pulls Dave roughly back into the car by his cuff, realizing that yes, Dave was also at least partially drunk.

“HE WANTED ME TO CALL HIM,” He yells outside again while Karkat drags his face towards the interior.

He laughs, Karkat rolls up the window to block out the freezing droplets of ice.

“Are you crazy?”

“Oh, I’m sorry I can’t hear you over ‘Dave please come sweep me off my small angry feat as I am so taken by your sick swagger,’”

“HAHA. The only reason I wanted to know is because it SEEMED like you were the type of person to text absurd trash at strangers unwarrantedly. So I was just wondering.” He answers with a slight fever red on his cheeks.

“Really? Cause it sounds like you wanted some of that trash directed at you. Which btdubs I have no short supply of, it’s called humor.”  
“OH NO,” he gasps, “I’ve never heard of that. It might be my occupation as a DMV clerk, but hu-more you say, that sounds like something fake,”

“Yes,” Dave nods sagely, “and gay. Fake and gay.”

“Like me.” Karkat says unthinkingly only to wish he could jam it back into his mouth with a plunger.

“Huh,” Dave ‘huhs’ and Karkat didn’t understand the reaction. They sit in a hazy silence as Terezi doses between them and he recognizes her street name approaching.

“So, was that you asking me to text you?” He asks falteringly, like he needed permission.

“No.” Karkat bites. “It was a simple, plain clothed question without implication or insinuation, in fact it is grade school it was so unassuming, being school-fed limitless purity of intention. No intention. Just curiosity of a bright eyed growing up inquiry.”

“When she goes through puberty is that a yes?”

“Maybe.” He smiles at him. “We’re here.” Karkat points to an upscale apartment complex. Karkat shuffles through his pockets for his wallet, Dave is faster.

“No you don’t.” Karkat grabs his arm.

“We’ll go splitsies. Less we want to hit up money bags with some good old fashioned unconscious borrowing.” Terezi couldn’t consent to that.

“Okay. We’ll split.”

They divvy up the contents of their pockets and manage to cover it with a fair tip, but Karkat slips in a little extra-“For your ride home.” He contributes.

“What are you going to do?”

He shrugs, “stay at her place.”

“‘K,” He responds slowly.

“Not in a weird way! We’ve been friends forever...Though if you want to help me lift her...”

He nods and between them they support her up to her room like human luggage.

Karkat grunts as they slop her down in her master bedroom soon enough. Dave whistles as he looks around,

“Nice digs.”

“You can say that again.” He fully knew Terezi had a nice, not too big, living situation.

“Nice digs.”

“Smart ass.”

“Yeah and my above-intelligence-rear has work later today, so I should head out.”

Karkat hums his approval that he heard him and arranges Terezi on the bed.

Dave waves,

“Wait,” Karkat stops him, “thanks. Like really, you could have just left her. And she’ll appreciate it in the morning. That’s some good-guy shit.”

“Nah, just doing normal people stuff. John was the one that really pushed it, but he had to up and leave so it was all on me or nobody.” He shrugs, “It was cool for you to come out too.”

He shuffles his feet, “it’s what I do. My friends get in trouble, I try to keep the asshats from an early grave.”

“So I’ll call you up when my loan sharks come around? Cause let me tell you, Striders get in the shit a lot.”

“Doubt it.”

“Whaaa,’

“You’re a dork, you're barely even wasted are you?”

“You caught me. Sober as church nun. Still gotta work tomorrow.”

“Go to sleep jackass. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Probably.”

They stare at each other awkwardly, as if something should happen.

“Well, see you later.” Dave lamely asserts and finally walks out the door.

"Don't get mugged!" Karkat sees him off.

"Or murdered, yes." He disappears down the hallway.

Karkat fidgets, he readjusts Terezi’s blankets, he takes off his shoes and straightens them, he shakes all of the snow off his clothes.

Finally, he frantically picks up his phone, a thrill of adrenaline coursing through his fingertips.

‘HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.’ He hits send, 'TEXT ME WHEN YOU'RE HOME SAFE AND UNMUGGED.’ He texts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honest to god meant this to just be drabbles. Short and sweet. And now it's three chapters. Last ones already written so it'll be out soon though!


	3. Selfies and Snowfall

January

“HO, HO, HO.” The mall Santa erupts from outside the DMV. Karkat looks up to the heavens for his last residue of patience.

“Miss, please do not tilt your head when I snap the photo. The camera will not accept it.” He addresses the young teen that was just getting her license, he was happy for her really. He means, he would if human emotions hadn’t been eroded in him to the point of blur of grey sensations he nicknamed ‘the DMV experience.’

“No, please do not throw up a peace sign.”

“This picture will be seen by everyone!” She asserts, Alyssa with a Y makes a duck face.

“More the reason, I suggest, to just, smile lightly. LIGHTLY.” He repeats and breaths through his nose as the girl grins like facebook is doing photoshoots.

He groans.

“Oh come on!” She sounds just as frustrated as him.

“Okay, okay, one more, promise, we can make you look ‘cute,’” he concedes, she giggles and she throws her arms up in excitement while he snaps away.

The camera won’t accept the head tilting.

“Selfie~” Someone yells in a high pitched valley girl accent and jumps into the shot.

Karkat looks dully at a blonde girl with Dave’s arm around her shoulders, peace sign and duck face in tow.

She laughs, he does a finger gun at her and clicks his tongue.

“I hope you plan on being with her at all times as she drives now.” He comments dryly, “So the police recognize the reason behind a double license.”

“I’m not going to get pulled over by police.” She chirps confidently, he is momentarily in reverence at her youth. Such innocence.

“Okay, I’ll just get this approved by management. The head tilting one.” It was vaguely endearing, she would like that. “Not the intruder Dave version Idiots in the DMV selfie edition. Impressed by the garbage men that hauled in Dave Strider to give life the the phrase ‘unwarranted swag gone wild in puke green sweaters.’” Karkat was in fact impressed by the sheer brightness of a pure green shirt the other boy sported.

“Guess.” He says blankly while gesturing at it.

“Terezi.”

“John laughed until soda came out his nose when he saw it.”

“Good man.”

“Are we done here?” The girl finally interrupts, hands on her hips.

“Yes, m’amm, I’ll just get Fef- the manager, to approve this. Congratulations on the new license.” He tries to sound like a halfway decent guy with a human appreciation for others.

“Fuck yeah!” She pumps her arm and he sinks slowly into the ground itself. Dave Strider high fives the enthusiast teen.

“Feferi, can you come over?” He calls to the leader of the office space. She trots over with a cheery grin, an over accessorized Christmas sweater over her work slacks.

“What can I do for you?” She breaches.

“It’s off center but-”

“But it’s adorable!”

Alyssa lights up, “totally?”

“Yeah. I can completely support this. Happy 18th!” She squeals at the girl with genuine enthusiasm. Karkat was in awe. “And god work Karkat.”  
How did she do it.

She puts in her manager password and tells the patron the license will come in the mail in two weeks and hands her a temporary ID.

She thanks Feferi with much more affection than directed at the cranky photographer.

“Fef!” Managers work was never done, Eridan called her over to most likely a) blatantly flirt with her, or b)deal with a customer who was baffled Eridan was going off topic with a Napoleon boner instead of dealing with their licence. Yeah, Karkat would have to have a talk with him soon.

“So what are you here for?” Karkat finally addresses Dave again who was just hanging out to the side, a little testily.

“Jeez, don’t shine too much at my presence brightening up your day like a fucking shooting star in this monument to human suffering.” Dave had been visiting more and more frequently anyway.

“Thanks. I almost forgot that’s where I was.”

“Anyway, Merry fucking Christmas or whatever.” He starts.

“I’m Muslim, but thanks, same to you.”

“I’m Jewish.”

Karkat stares at him blankly, then breaks into unapologetic laughter.

“Hahaa,” He can’t help it, it was absurdist humor, he keeps laughing, Dave joins him and they are soon guffawing in the middle of the DMV with limited stares.

“Okay, okay, that is actually perfect.”

“Um okay, and what do you want outside of 8 presents I forgot to give you?” He got more chummy.

“Nah, my adopted granny got that covered. No son, 31st then.”

“For what?”

“All the Chinese food you can possibly eat and a likely amount of reindeer brawling.”

“Brawling?”

“Hell yes. Zoo breaking and entering and everything.”

“But in all serious, you want to…?”

“Hang. We have friends of friends, and _finally_ someone isn’t busy on that day with present bonanza holiday whatever.”

Karkat finds himself nodding slowly.

Dave’s eyebrows raise behind his shades and he folds his arms.

“No shitfest? Or protest?”

“I am a complex individual twatface, not a two-dimensional predictable machine that can be guessed at what he’ll do next, Karkat, oh that guy, the programmable DMV robot thank you very much. I’ll go on you're stupid… thing.” What was that stupid thing?

Dave projects a genuine smile, “for real,” he clears his throat and deepens it. “For real, swag.”

“Yes, Strider. Why not."  
  
Someone very abruptly clears their throat next to Karkat’s ear, he jumps.

“Need anything sir?” Feferi was besides him and staring at Dave, who was now a regular but she was clearly inquiring on why he was there.

He solutes her ironically, “I thought I lost my license!” He announces.

“And?”

“Oh shit, it’s in my wallet, what the fuck,” he takes it out and and looks at the plastic card in shock, “the elusive bastard just out of my manicured fucking grasp, gotta get this shit down lock, can’t keep getting on your employees like this, my bad.” Karkat bites his lip at the part of ‘getting on the employees.’

“No problem sir!” Feferi says in a forced tone, “but we will have to take the next patron.”

Feferi shoos Dave out of the DMV and all Karkat can think about the 31st.

He can feel his heart in his throat and his head swarming with every romantic holiday movie he’d ever seen. Fuck.

\-------------

Karkat tries on his red sweater. No, too obnoxiously bright. He switches back to his tried and true black turtle neck. It couldn’t go too wrong could it?

He puts an extra pair of socks on and stuffs his feet in to his boots. Whatever, it wasn’t a date, it was two guys walking around downtown.

He didn’t have to be nervous about that.

Karkat puts on two more layers.

He’s considering which gloves had the most protection when he glances at the clock. It was ten to seven. he rushes to the door.

“Another thing with that kid KK?”

“Shut up Sollux, it’s our first one. Maybe third.”

“Ooh, third, almost ready for the weird stuff then.” He wiggles his eyebrows, “Butt stuff.”  
Karkat aggressively rolls his eyes and flips Sollux off.

“I can’t hear you over going out right now instead of sitting alone in the dark.”

“Whatever, I already saw the folks. And I’m skyping Aradia right now, like right now, say hi.”

“Hi Karkat!” A dark haired girl waves at him through the computer screen. “Butt stuff.” She giggles.

“Alright, okay, that’s fun.” He opens the door,

“Make sure not to lose it on him!” She helpfully contributes.

“As a calm and normal citizen I will collectively not lose my shit at him as well as leave on time. Look at me following the clock, collecting my shit, gathering it sweetly, patting it softly on the head and going out the door.”

“Have fun with Mr. Butt Stuff!” Sollux calls after him as heads down the hallways.

Karkat still needed new friends.

It takes him eleven minutes to reach the downtown by foot, which was basically a series of shops and a collection of ‘entertainment’ centers.

He waited with his foot tapping and sense a forlorn.

He’s the one to see Dave first,

“Hey,” He clears his throat, “hey, over there, hatless Mcfuck!” He greets him.

Dave jogs over to him, red in the cheeks, “tch, you’re just not going to get over the hat thing?”

“It’s not so much a ‘getting over’ as a well justified observation.”

“My well justified observation is that you're bundled up like a layered up like a double-decker cake with frosting.” He slurs in somewhat of a southern twang for the first time.

“Aren’t you from Texas. You look cold.”

He snorts, “I’m from manly as fuck village, so sick, gotta keep a nurse on hand at all times. Don’t need nothing but Old Spice and half a jacket to get by.”

“You’re shivering.”

“Let’s walk.”

They start down in the brisk night air, the streets are expectantly empty and Karkat can physically feel the wider space, the absence of people. It was strange.

“Yo, that shop looks open, you want to hit that one up?”

“Which?” He lifts an eyebrow, “the chocolate shop?”

“What?” Dave replies to Karkat’s surprised tone.

“I just never pegged you for a sweet tooth type.”

“What else is open tonight that you see?”

“Alright, point taken.”

They hunch against the wind and make it up to the small business.

“Maybe, we can get that layered cake,” he comments wryly. “To match me.”

“Do you think they have one in disheveled no-chill flavor?”

“No, but look, there, that one right there, it’s flavored as ‘lick my ass.’”

Dave laughs, “whoa this isn’t the third date.”

“What, what’s with third dates and bu...you know what never mind.”

“You want something?” Karkat looks around, and shoos Dave to go look around as well.

He picks up a chocolate lollipop curiously, it looked drizzled in caramel. It has his attention.

“Is this romantic? I feel like this romantic.” He holds up a box of chocolate over his head.

“It’s just…chocolate, Dave.” Okay, maybe a chocolate store was romantic.

Dave starts singing some 80’s pop tune while shaking the chocolate box back and forth like a boombox.

“Stop, stop, I hear enough of that from Terezi,” he approaches and pushes Dave’s shoulder, he leaps backwards and continues,

“a-woooo, a we,” he sings, Karkat attempts to reach up and take it from him. “Take me to the candy shop,” he switches tunes, “I’ll let you lick the lollipops,”

“What are you two young men doing?” A stern looking women approaches them with a cloth in hand, appearing like she was just cleaning up. Karkat, in the middle of jumping on Dave stumbles backward into a display rack.

“Nothing!’ Karkat exclaims as he rights the rack he fell into.

“Are you going to buy anything?” She puts her hands on her hips.

Dave and Karkat nod earnestly.

They approach the cash register, Karkat still clutching the chocolate popsicle with caramel in hand. He puts it on the counter.

Dave takes out his wallet with weird puppets on it.

Karkat opens his mouth to complain but Dave beats him to it.

“Pay for mine. I’ll pay for yours. It’ll be cute.”

“I’m not interested in cute.”

“Too late, you’re in cute city bro, messy black hair and all, woo, woo train ‘I’m into it,” Karkat tilts his head at that comment and blushes, but Dave had already dished out the dollars.

“I’ll have a hot chocolate if that things still running.”

She nods, and Karkat springs out his wallet at lightning speed.

“Whip on top.” She busies herself in the back with a small chocolate machine.

Dave and Karkat exchange a look,

“Well, we weren’t kicked out.”

“Too bad. That certainly hurts my quota of places I need to be kicked out of.”

“Are you joking? Cause let me tell you, getting kicked out of places sucks the hard tit of disappointing your mother time.”

“Is it because your-”

“It’s because I’m loud.”

“OMG, god, I thought it was just a thing everyone accepted like, cute kid Karkat yells all his lines in the play and we let him do it without blinking.”

“And cool kid Dave gets to be the tree in the background.”

“Hell yes. Stony fucking faced chiller, just chills and improves the aesthetic with mad prop skill.”

“You know, I have so many things to say about everyone standing silently and looking immobile.”

“Me, standing and looking pretty, what’s not to like.”

“I see.” He says lowly. Dave for once is speechless at him agreeing, he turns some sort of light pink at the ears.

The lady returns with Dave's drink, “thank you m’am.” He tips her extra in the jar.

They end up walking out a little physically closer than when they walked in, almost shoulder to shoulder as they close in on the city's main park.

“I think you took my lollipop line a little too literally.” Dave comments as he stare at Karkat's purchase, “I mean you you didn’t have to do all that for little old me. I already found you 50 cent worthy.”

“Oh please, I was already going to get this.” He says practically, “I wouldn’t have even thought of it like that,” it strikes Karkat to put it up against his mouth. He glances at Dave who went slightly more red in the face, he sips his drink and turns his head.

Karkat feels a sudden glee, he licks the thing suggestively just for the hell of it, one slow long lick across it’s side while his half hooded eyes focus on the blond boy.

Dave chokes and starts hacking up his drink.

“Are you okay?” Karkat says in real concern as Dave hunches over and coughs.

“Yeah man,” he coughs, “uh, allergies.”

Karkat laughs, “right.”

“Allergies to you trying to kill me with that.” He coughs again and wipes his mouth.

“I can’t believe you were got by that of all things,”

Dave tilts his head towards him, a flat expression on his face.

“Uh.” He goes red in the face. _He really did like him._

“Okay,” He takes another swig on the drink, “I’m good. I’m good.”

“Good.” Karkat confirms. He takes a bite of his chocolate thing. Dave squeaks.

He rolls his eyes, but laughs again.

They continue their walk, this time discussing the merits of setting the crappy strip mall they both worked in on fire.

“No, you see, we have to the garden shop. They sell manure, totally flammable.”

“They’re so sweet though. Terry and Sherry are two decent human beings in a sea of filth.”

“Okay, cute couple, yes, but insurance money.”

“Couple? I thought they were...sisters?”

They turn a corner into an unlit open space, they run into a low wall, and Karkat inspects it.

“Hey,” Dave starts jogging over to the gate of the small wall, “they forgot to cover it.”

“What?”

“The ice rink! And no bro, they are total lady kissers btw, it’s all in the eyes.”

“Their names rhyme. Twins.”

“We can ask them, but first.” He gestures for him to come to the wall.

Karkat looks out onto the open ice, it was dark and small rink at this time of night.

“Someones getting fired.” He announces as he observes how uncovered it is.

“We should go on it.”

“Why?”

“Cause.” Dave is already hopping onto the abandoned cut ice and slides on the frozen ground.

Karkat follows reluctantly. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this.

“Whoa, look at me, ice princessing this shit.” He glides on his feet across the uneven solid water.

“You need skates.” Karkat, on wobbling feet, pushes himself across the ice. “Wait, is this your first time?” Karkat inquires as he witnesses Dave stumble and basically fall down on his ass.

He laughs, “yeah bro! Not much of this shit in Texas unless you want to pay.”

Karkat grins, he helps him up by the hands.

Dave pulls himself upright, standing up directly into Karkat’s personal bubble. Karkat finds himself staring at the taller boys chest as he leans forward.

Karkat looks up at him through his lashes, starring the other boys chin.

Dave rests his chin on the top of Karkat’s head gently as they stand close together, Karkat, for a brief moment, let’s him, as they brace in the chill and the dim light with their bodies facing one another.

The air smells like snow and the slight hint of Dave’s aftershave, Karkat unnoticeably sighs.

“Get off!” He pushes him away, “I’m not your personal chin rest.”

“It ain’t my fault you're like 5’2 dude, shoulda asked your momma for permission to be people size before getting close to chin height. No stopping the convenience-locomotive after that perfect height.”

“We should have a long a detailed talk about me kicking in the shins. It will come with diagrams and a demonstration, free of charge.”

“Pfft, if you can reach my shins. Now, watch me glide backwards.” He launches off from Karkat and floats backwards until he hits an icy ridge and falls down again into the slick ground.

"Oof," he's straight legged sitting on the ice.

Karkat notices his jeans get soaked as Dave scrambles to stand up again.

“You’re going to take a bath in this if you keep falling down like an uncoordinated manifestation of a small child. Would you like a cane?” He comments, Dave turns around before him.

“Hold my waist if you don’t wanna see me land on my ass, we'll do it fucking Titanic style,”

“Oh my fuck.” Karkat says, but holds his waist anway, his fingers fitting over the trim dip of his torso very nicely.

“Now, mush, push forward.”

“I am rolling my eyes. I am physically verbalizing my actions just so you know my utter amazement at this and that this is happening.” Karkat pushes him anyway and they in tandem, very slowly, make it across to the other wall while Dave makes ironic statements.

“Oh Jack, no one must know of our class-breaking white people love.” He says in a high pitched voice.

“Trust me. I’m not writing home about it.” Dave stumbles and Karkat catches him by the chest, it was too much physical contact and his mind goes blank.

Dave laughs and pushes off of him, trying to slide across by the small area again, and Karkat mulling about as well, trying to create a perfect arch.

They pass and Karkat’s hand briefly brush and they linger side by side, all Karkat can think about is grabbing on, feeling their fingers interweave.

Then Dave looks him in the face, stomps his foot on the ground and belts, “LET IT GO~” He sings passionately.

Karkat all but launches himself at him and squishes his face in his hands like silly putty.

“I am not having cops catch us breaking and entering on the basis of loud Frozen lyrics.”

“Sing with me.” He says resolutely, if not non-seriously. “Complete the prophecy young knight.”

Karkat looks down at him and accesses his soaking jeans. “I’ll fulfill some duty and get you too a heater, you’re pants look fucking ready to Let it Go and become one with the wind and sky.”

“Lol, you’ve seen it.”

“So had everyone, literally everyone,” probably, “now come on.”

He fulfills his wish and guides Dave off of the frozen rink by the hand, Dave doesn’t say anything.

They make their way to the downtown center where heaters were installed a functional art pieces, hot air blowing from faux-rocks next to benches. They make their way their past the homeless people and various few bystanders.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.” Karkat asserts, “you look like hypothermia.”

“Yeah, that’s me, freezing your fingers off incarnate.” Dave follows him over to the heated rocks in front of the grates.

“That’s frostbite. Sit down.”

Dave and Karkat make themselves comfortable in their own little corner.

“Look, the tree.” Dave points to a brightly lit tree in the middle of the square all lit up in white and with a star on top.

They rest against each other as the warmth blows against their backs and some lights twinkle on the surrounding trees and singular large tree.

“This is nice.” Karkat says softly, barely a whisper, as he settles in.

“Whatever it is.” Dave comments.

“This is a date isn’t it?”

“God I hope so, or else I think I might have embarrassed myself in the style of crossing 22 different lines. Like I wonder what a filter is, what it's like to stop yourself from blatantly expressing to people that you like them.” Karkat goes red at that, “and shit I did it again.”

Karkat looks up at the sky, light snowflakes one by one descend like very slow confetti.

“If I wake up in the seat of some sad movie theatre after the rom com that literally put me to sleep and dreamed up all of detailed fuckery, then I’m tracking down the devil and beating his ass.” He mumbles to himself.

“What?” Dave looks confused.

“This doesn’t usually happen to me.” He says as he leans closer.

“Good.” Dave says, “low competition is the way I like to see my batting average.”

He humphs, “there are a lot of fish in the sea. Not just me for you.” He repeats the idiom moresly while looking Dave in the glasses, just making out his red irises through them.

Karkat leans on him, Dave didn’t respond for several very long moments that hang in the air like floating blurry saw dust.

“Hey Karkat?” Dave finally whispers.

“Mmm.” He grunts to show he heard him.

“If it starts snow,” he’s barely audible, “can I kiss you?”

Dave turns to him, their faces are inches apart, Dave is starring at his lips, Karkat can feel his breath on his cheek.

“It’s already snowing.” Karkat murmurs.

Dave doesn’t move, hesitating and stalling.

Karkat leans in and presses their mouths together, a soft and cold off center kiss.

He tastes like Texas sun against the cold and chapped lips and a hint of lingering sweetness.

They press further together, Karkat wraps his arms around Dave’s neck and their lips move against each other.

“Give me your license.” Karkat says when they part, Dave blinks at him in surprise.

“Chill dude, it was just a kiss, no need to revoke my license for not taking the first move.”

Karkat kisses him again to shut him up. That seems to do the trick and Dave produces his wallet in short order.

Karkat takes it and starts doodling on it with the pen from his pocket. “Go home and wash this immediately," he orders.

He passes Dave the card.

“Is that a tiny crab with a lollipop in it’s hand?” He asks, “fucking sick, what’s it saying? Tell me it’s ‘sir’ or some other DMV Karkat word.”

Karkat shrugs, “look close.”

It was an almost illegible, ‘I LIKE YOU TOO’ in his own messy print.

Dave shuffles and looks shyly back up at him, he presses his mouth briefly to his cheek in a falty peck. “Okay, you weren’t wrong about being a shitty artist. And I’ll need a new license for real now since I’ve been vandalized, gee Karkat, such a criminal, not sure how I feel about associating with you.”

“I told you to wash it when you get home.”

“No, nope, not gonna happen.”

He embraces him one last time, a kiss like feathers and heartbreak in the best way. The heat beats down on Karkats back and the snow blows on his cheek, Dave is soft against him.


End file.
